In the Planet of the Apes, the Earth was ruled by three classes of primate. Gorillas were the infantry; chimpanzees, the common citizenry; and the orangutans were the wise elite. If someone were to remake Planet of the Apes, and replace the planet of primates with a can of mixed nuts, I believe that the chimpanzees would be played by the peanuts; the walnuts would be the gorillas, and the pecans and almonds would be the orangutans. I’m hoping the cashews are made the slave race, because I find them disturbing in shape and taste.
At a dollar more per can than the peanut, almonds have always carried a hint of snootiness in the snack food aisle at the grocery store. As you do the rest of your shopping, however, you’ll find that West Coast attitude is not at all confined to just the one aisle. In fact it becomes amplified the further it migrates through the super market, and let me tell you, these little premadonas are all over the joint. The bakery/pastry department, as they’re incorporated in delicious desserts; the oils/shortenings aisle, since almond oil is used for cooking; the health and beauty aisle, because women are putting it in their hair, and people are swallowing almond supplements when blocked… you know, down there; and of course, in the dairy refrigerator, because I guess someone discovered the little things have had teets all this time!
In my celebrations, I actually tried the almond milk. It was the “vanilla” variety. Let me tell you something, being that I’m not a huge milk drinker, this stuff is well worth the extra buck per half-gallon. There’s at least that much value in nutrition and taste. There were a few Hershey’s Kisses thrown down in the day, the almond stuffed ones, of course, but I mainly enjoyed this nut du jour with the other members of its ruling can. Now, when you want to enjoy mixed nuts, I mean truly enjoy them, there really is no choice. It’s got to be Emerald Sweet & Salty Mixed Nuts. The almonds are coated in coco, and when you get a good equal representation of all the others in your hand, the combination of flavors is gland popping! I spent the day with a can of them on my desk eating them by the handful because you see, each nut carries a very specific element to the total experience, so you can’t just pick out your favorite ones.
You really can’t say anything bad about the almond, can you? It’s got half the fat and twice the fiber of peanuts, and does even better when stacked up against the other nuts in the can. Look at it this way, the almond is such a magical nut, that when you put chocolate on top of coconut, it’s just a Mound, but the second you add almonds to it, it literally turns to Joy!
See you Friday for National Indian Pudding Day!