I blame Christopher Columbus. He set this whole thing wrong. Here’s a guy who just couldn’t accept that there might be a continent smack in the middle of the way to India, so now because of him, whenever someone refers to an Indian, we’re forced to clarify, “Wait… do you mean Indian Indian, or like, an American Indian?”
I’m now so accustomed to the term American Indian, that when I saw National Indian Pudding Day approaching, I had begun to mentally prepare myself for the overwhelming scent of curry that would run through the house tonight, and even said a little “thank you” that the high temperature today would be seventy-five, because I’d be able to open up the windows to fully ventilate the house.
When it finally set in that Indian pudding is an American colonial dessert inspired by American Indians’ plentiful ingredient of corn, I silently whispered a curse on Columbus, then immediately began to have flashbacks of Plum Pudding Day. Again with the beef fat? Yep, sure enough. Indian pudding’s got the suet. In fact, colonists often prepared the Indian pudding in hog casings ta boot!
But good news comes to those who wait, and by wait I mean keep on looking till you find the answer you’re looking for. Thankfully, according to a multitude of sources, Indian pudding does not need to be made with suet. Many recipes, in fact, call for butter. Of course, on a 1-10 scale of how awful things are for you, I don’t know where cow fat and butter fall, but I figure they’re probably pretty close.
Here’s the thing about baking that I hate. You have got to get those ingredients and proportions right… especially the ingredients. Most of the recipes I found had similar ingredients. They all had butter. They all had molasses, cinnamon and milk. Weirdly, none of them had brown gravy mix.
See, I have had this brown granulated sugar on the top shelf of my spice rack for some time, and thought today would be a fantastic time to dispose of the rest of the can. Unfortunately, that can has always sat next to a canister of brown gravy mix, something I already mentioned was in none of the recipes.
The second I dumped the gravy mix in, I should have started over. Instead of adding a half cup of sugar, I should have started over. Instead of pouring milk on top, I should have started over. Before shoving it in the oven, I should have started over. Instead I bluffed.
Please allow me a moment now to extend an apology to my wife for convincing her that tonight’s bowl of goo was going to be something. It wasn’t. It was funky. I’ll try again, I’m sure. I’ve got this whole can of corn meal now. Of course I’ll probably end up mixing it and offering it to my family in a ladle to dump on their potatoes for dinner tomorrow.
Oh well. Tomorrow nothing is on my list, but it’s “Pigfest” at the fairgrounds, so I’ll be celebrating that. See you Sunday for National Chocolate Mint day.