I have to come to clean here. I’ve not had a margarita that I actually enjoyed, ever. They just flat-out make my stomach feel like doo-doo. I’ve tried so many versions. I really have. They all do the same thing though. They make my stomach feel just about as dynamic as an inner tube.
It’s not the tequilla, this I know. A lot of people will make tequilla out to be something just short of Lucifer himself because of this awful experience that happened sometime within the first two years of college. The problem with that night is that our stomaches and our friends’ cameras so often capture the memories of those shots of tequilla, but our long-term memories managed to forget about the surplus of other drinks that preceded that shot of tequilla, which was probably the cheapest house brand of anything you’ll ever find in the place. The fact that it’s the booze that is almost always followed by overindulgence of the night, I can’t explain, but it always gets the blame.
The point I’m trying to make here is that tequilla gets a really bad rap, and a lot of the time for something that isn’t really its fault. The point of me making a point of making that point is so that it’s clearly understood that I actually like tequilla. Good tequilla! Not those brands that come from the distribution center that calls itself “House.”
That being said, Margaritas still make my belly feel like someone shot a great big freezing cold rifle shot through it. On top of it all, it’s a drink curbed all up in salt, something my doctor claims that my newly acquired high blood pressure might have a real problem with.
Tonight, I tried a big standard green margarita first. So, so, so sweet! Bleh!! Yep, it was a “house” margarita. Listen, I’m a scotch and beer guy at heart, so this thing was like a bitter champagne cooley to me.
Then I had an epiphany! What if I don’t drink that awful premade mix every restaurant seems to have ready to pour out of that giant green vat? What if I insist on a quality tequilla instead of accepting that house gook that they’re always trying to blend up?
Well, I think you can see from the color difference in this picture (mine’s the one on the right), that the quality tequilla margarita was a completely different drink! Completely! Oh, and it also made my stomach feel like someone filled it with buck-shot.
Whatever, dude! I’m a party animal, and here’s what happened. I’m two margaritas in, with a chips and salsa, and a taco, but I still gotsta have one more shot tonight! A shot of alka seltzer, and I’m talking right now!!
Sorry girls. This is a funky little beverage. Me no like.
See you Friday for Banana Bread Day!