Happy National Cold Cereal Day! (3/7)

The culture of entertainment has long depicted the concept of an “all you need” food that’s eaten and enjoyed by society, a sort of one-stop-shop of sustenance for the masses. In Return of the Jedi, Princess Leah pulled out some of this “all you need” food, and fed it to a very pesky yet pleased Ewok.  Charlton Heston found himself living in a future where an “all you need” food called “Soylent Green” was made from a very special and secret ingredient.  Also, Charlton Heston along with his band of Hebrews survived in the desert for weeks, thanks to an “all you need” food they called manna.

The point is that this catch-all food source seems to have been something that we have always aspired to avail ourselves of. With the roll this hypothetical invention has played in stories, one would think we were centuries away from achieving it (whether it be centuries past or future).  But man, don’t you know we’ve already got the magic stuff right here in the present?  That’s right — cold cereal!  

Fortifying foods was the key, and we’ve been doing it since the 1930s.  Now we fortify milk, orange juice, bread, just about everything. It’s cold cereal that is our magnum opus, though.  It’s the superfood of the future… only NOW!

In “Happy Thanksgiving Charlie Brown,” the poor round-headed kid was severely ridiculed for what?  Do you remember?  Serving cold cereal and toast.  They scoffed the meal, ridiculed poor C.B., and left him standing alone on a day of thanks.  Those little jerks!  They were so hung up on their own Thanksgiving traditions that they missed the blessing that Charlie Brown bestowed on this group who are the closest thing we’ve ever seen to his actual family.  Why, just two cups of cold cereal contain more nutrition than your huge plate of standard Thanksgiving dinner.  An enlightened society would do just as Charlie Brown had done, and eaten cold cereal for not just the special meals, but all the meals.  

That was the inspiration for my actions today.  I started today with the bowl of cereal pictured at the top of the page.  Now what you have up there is some O’s (yes, they’re the generic Cheerios), but what’s going on top of the bowl is about a tablespoon of lucky charms.  That plus the vanilla almond milk make this stuff taste nice and sweet, while remaining so healthy, I might as well have eaten a cup of celery berries.  I know that’s not a thing, but if it were, just imagine how healthy it would be

For lunch I had a bowl of Cinnamon Chex cereal.  It’s good.  Really does hit the spot if you don’t give yourself other options.  Of course that didn’t last me till dinner, so I had to down a cereal bar.  It counts as cold cereal, I’m pretty sure.  At dinner time, I had this enormous craving for salad.  I don’t know what that was about.  Point is, I bet I ate more cold cereal than you today, so I win!

I’ll see you Thursday for National Peanut Cluster Day!

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About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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