Happy National Crabmeat Day! (3/9)

One of the grossest things I’ve ever read is a statistic that we will eat approximately eight spiders while we sleep, over the course of our lives. This would mean those little eight legged, hairy things crawl in there, and tickle our tongues, causing us to close up and swallow.  Eeeeeesssh!  So gross!

Then there are cultures that eat bugs while they’re awake. Yes, we’re also talking about folk who eat sautéed ants, fried locusts, chocolate covered crickets, or a nice bowl of bug larva. Now, I’m pretty sure the spider thing is just something that was written once to freak people out, and does not really happen. Well, maybe one guy while camping one time, but not eight for each of us.  The thing about other cultures eating bugs is spot on real, though.  Cultures in India, Africa, Japan, China, they eat all these little crittery things.  They don’t stop to count the legs, they just down the suckers. It’s gross, right?

Here’s what is fantastic about the ocean.  The salty water and lower gravity down there creates an environment that allows for that same tiny gross land critter that Asians are dipping in chocolate, to grow gigantic and delicious under water and taste even better when dipped in butter!  The same parallel can be drawn with a cockroach, but today is not National Lobster Day, it’s National Crabmeat Day!  And boy did I put a hurtin’ on it!

Calico Jack’s Seafood, that is where I kicked the evening off with a crab cake.  If it wasn’t for today being National Crabmeat Day, I don’t think I would have gotten one.  I once had a crab cake in Maryland from a restaurant called G&M that ruined me.  After that, they all taste like spicy pancakes to me.  I know you know of a really good crab cake that I just have to try, but I’ve had dozens since, and they’re all just ok.  Man, G&M ships their crab cakes to anywhere. Why didn’t I just order some of those things?

So, I followed that stupid thing up with two pounds of snow crab legs, which are always fantastic! It’s really the go to seafood of the ages.  A lot of places carry an all you can eat snow crab, but that’s a waste.  No one really needs any more than two pounds.  That’s enough to make you feel full and just a little bit sick.  When they’re perfectly cooked, snapping that leg in the middle pops out a big warm piece of meat, and the feeling of pleasure you get from that moment is unparalleled in the supper experience.

Blue crab is also very amazing.  It’s what those G&M crab cakes are loaded with.  I have eaten over thirty in one sitting.  The reason you can eat so much crab is because with all the snapping and cracking, you’re burning half the calories you’re eating.

Tonight I will snuggle up with my own fat belly, because that is where my crab is sitting right now.  I love you crab.

See you Saturday for National Blueberry Popover day!

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About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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