When It Comes to Oatmeal Cookies… Turns Out Lacy is More

Lacy oatmeal cookies were perfectly weird.  Now, you’re probably not at all wondering the difference between lacy oatmeal cookies and regular old “So, there’s no more chocolate chip?  Alright, I guess I’ll just take one of those oatmeal” cookies.

The name of the cookie is very cute though, isn’t it? They’re lacy, like a little paper thin laced doily that used to sit on grandma’s formal dining table.  It’s sweet.  It’s a load of malarkey, but it’s sweet.  Do you know what the difference is between a lacy oatmeal cookie and a standard oatmeal cookie?  Lacy cookies contain half the flour. That’s really about it.  Regular oatmeal cookies are also often made with chilled vs room temperature batter, but the point is that lacy cookie batter is thin and spreads like waffle batter, while other cookies just kind of expand in a nice round, and controlled clump. I’m actually pretty sure lacy cookies are some mom’s genius marketing device for that time she didn’t have enough flour to pull off promised cookies and was forced to do a little, “well how bad could they be?” maneuvering.

I’m upset with myself that I failed to take a picture of the first batch of these stupid things. The problem with this kind of thinner batter is that you really need about five to six-inch separation between cookies, but instead of tiny little quarter sized globs on my cookie tray, I laid down rows of normal cookie sized clumps, with a standard two-inch separation. I mean, these guys spread faster than a virus spreads in a Summer block buster movie. By the time it was cooking fairly brown on the edges, that first batch basically looked like a big pan of cookie brittle.

You can see how I tried to salvage the first batch on the left.  It tasted fine, a little chewy because the center couldn’t cook fully, but it contained just as much sugar and butter as any other cookie, so it was edible.  The second batch, front and center, was the one that I was super cautious with, and actually turned out some things that I was able to call cookies.  Then, the third batch on the right there, was when I got cocky and wound up with big, weird elongated things that looked like McDonald’s hashbrowns.  Getting the separation right does make a difference, because when you do it right, lacy cookies are crunchy and not chewy.  I don’t think home-made cookies should be chewy unless they’re hot out of the oven.  Technically, there really shouldn’t be oatmeal, granola or raisins in cookies either, but I’ve noticed that every time I object to a flavor or texture of food, it’s always to that person who responds, “Oh I love!”

See you Monday for National Poultry Day. 


About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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