How To Take the “EW” Out Of Cashew

Cashews are a funky thing, aren’t they?  If I said to you that something was nut shaped, would you immediately picture a squash in your head?  No, you’d picture something more the shape of the space ship in which baby Superman came to Earth from Krypton. All the other nuts are pretty much doing the same thing, patterning themselves after Superman’s ship, but the cashew feels a need to do its own thing.

If you had spent any time snacking with me, you would know that I’ve never concealed my feelings about the cashew, not in life, and not in this blog.  In fact, on National Pecan Day, I made reference that in a nut ruled world, cashews would be the slave class of the race. It’s not one hundred percent due to their shape, it really isn’t.  They just taste so unnatural to me.  There’s a sweet weirdness to them that doesn’t belong and that I just can’t get past.  They also really do feel wrong in my mouth, that is true.  The shape of a cashew is just not right.

Enter chocolate.

On February 25th we celebrated the chocolate covered peanut, and I was not shy in admitting that coating this generic nut with chocolate is fantastic, so I was encouraged by the idea of pulling the same trick with this other nut that, for some reason, decided to go the way of a cauliflower ear.

There’s really only one place to buy this kind of stuff in Tallahassee anymore, because this town apparently hates candy.   I know this because we’ve shut down all the candy and chocolate stores that have tried to make it in this town, and I’m talking within a matter of minimal years. So, off I went to the Fresh Market organic super market to get some chocolate covered cashews from a jar that was labeled as such.  I quickly whisked them away for the 2:50PM showing of “21 Jump Street.”  Don’t worry, at $9.99 per pound, I wasn’t saving any money on theater snack costs.

What I found today was that coating anything thick enough in chocolate will make it taste awesome.  You saw these the things I bought at the top of the page. They were absolutely ensconced in the stuff! I also bought a couple of white chocolate coated caramel cashew clusters.  Jeesh!  Those things I didn’t need to find.  Biting into them, it didn’t even bother me that they looked so much like little creatures that I was biting into.

What’s so fantastic about chocolate covered nuts in a movie theater is that you’re at least getting some protein in the exchange so that when you walk out two hours later you don’t completely need to vomit.

The short of it is that today yielded a great realization that I do like cashews… coated in ten layers of dark chocolate.  Also “21 Jump Street” was very funny.

See you Sunday for National Jelly Bean Day. 


About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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