Happy National Oatmeal Cookie Day! (4/30)

They’re not heathy you know, oatmeal cookies? I think that’s why they’ve always made me feel a little shifty, because they seem to be trying to pass as a “good for you” food.  There’s just something about shoving healthy things into unhealthy things that creates a disconnect in my head.  I get the feeling that things like oatmeal cookies, zucchini bread and carrot cake became something because someone at some point was in need of downsizing their kitchen a bit, so she just started throwing random things into her recipes, rationalizing this way,

“I really need to get rid of this zucchini before it goes bad.  Maybe I’ll jut grind it up and throw it all in this loaf of sweet bread.  See if anyone notices. If they do, I’ll just say, ‘Yeah, well it’s zucchini bread dummy!'”

 or

“Ah, crap! Bugs have gotten all into these oats, what a waste! Ooo, wait!  I know. I’ll blend them into a batch of cookies and add some raisins.  No one will even know about the bugs.”

Even still, today it was actually my intention to bake a batch of oatmeal cookies at lunch.  I’ve got a big thing of Quaker Oats at the house, part of which becomes my breakfast every morning, and underneath the lid there is a recipe for oatmeal cookies.  From the ingredients, it looked like I had everything needed already in the kitchen, but when I went home for lunch, I found that my assumption was a bit incorrect.  There was only a couple of tablespoons of butter in there, and the recipe called for 1/2 a cup of the gook.

So, off to Fresh Market bakery I went!  Sure, they had standard oatmeal raisin cookies, but they also hd something called “Kitchen Sink” cookies, which are oatmeal based cookies that also contain chocolate chips, raspberries, macadamia nuts, and probably a few other things I couldn’t identify (much like that original batch).

Box of “Kitchen Sinks” in hand, I verified with the baker that they would indeed stay true to today’s holiday theme, but the full answer that I received ended up giving me a moral distraction. She said that they are indeed oatmeal based, but then proceeded to get one out of the display for me to try.  I protested that I would be purchasing the box anyway so it was unnecessary, but that did not thwart her customer service.

An Unfortunate Gift

I thanked her, but then as I began walking to the front of the store, now holding a “Kitchen Sink” cookie as well as a box of the same, it occurred to me that since I had this free oatmeal cookie, I really didn’t need to buy the box.  In the end, my moral compass shelled out the $5.89 anyway, though.

The Bermuda Rectangle

Then, when I got back to work, I left the box in the break room, otherwise known as the Bermuda Rectangle. They were gone in just under two hours.

The cookie was good.  I could have eaten more.  I just didn’t.  Anyway, I already celebrated National Lacey Oatmeal Cookie Day back in March, so this kind of felt like a rerun.

See you Tuesday for National Chocolate Parfait Day! 

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About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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2 Responses to Happy National Oatmeal Cookie Day! (4/30)

  1. terry1954 says:

    that is like all the low fat, low sugar, high fiber crap that is advertised. if you look at the labels, they are often worse with other additives, than the regular boxed item, and much more expensive

  2. Jim Clark says:

    Such a welcome observation, Terry! That Fiber One bar doesn’t taste like a candy bar at all to me, it tastes EXACTLY like a big hunk of fiber.

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