I’m Too Manly For My Legs!

There’s really no food item on this Earth that makes a guy feel more manly than eating on a giant leg of cooked meat.  Some people will come at you with arguments about a hamburger, or ribs, but I’ve never been to a state fair, food festival or rinky-dink town function where people are eyeballing the guy with the hamburger.  Any time I’m at such an event, you can bet I’m picking up one of those big honkin’ turkey legs for eight bucks, and not just because it tastes awesome.  When I first discovered turkey legs about ten years ago, they were only five dollars, but even with such an obvious and escalated price inflation, today I’d pay up to ten.  Every time I’ve walked around with one, I’ve felt like King James.  People point and stare at the big gross dangling meat stick in my hand, the grease is dripping down my face, and I can see it in their eyes, other men want to be me. Women are, of course, repulsed, but real men want to go to there.

Lamb Treat = Man Meat

Now, I’ve never made a roasted leg of lamb before, although I’m pretty sure I’ve had roasted lamb.  When I went to buy one at the grocery store, I saw that I could have gotten a boneless one, but that just made absolutely no sense in my head.  Without the bone, it’s not a leg.  Without the bone, it’s just a chunk of meat.  It’s just a roast.  I’m sorry, but on my approach to the checkout line with my grocery item, this man needed the world to see that what I wielded in my hand was a full on leg of meat.

The recipe I pulled was from SouthernFood.com, and it was for a rosemary roasted leg of lamb.  Now, I’m not sure if a roasted lamb leg is a really easy thing to make, or if this recipe was just really awesome, and that’s because of what I do know, which is that this recipe was really easy to make and it was really awesome. To be fair to me, I’m not quite sure if the actual lamb meat was as good as the lamb steak that I typically make on the grill, but the roasted lamb leg stayed pretty moist, and after two hours of cooking at 325 degrees (25 minutes per pound on a 3.5 lb roast), there was a fantastic supply of well to medium rare meat when I sliced from the outside to in.

After dinner, I cut and bagged the rest of the meat from the leg.  There was a lot of it left over that I will be freezing for many later lunches. Then, as I was cleaning up, suddenly I had an epiphany.  The meal was not yet over.  There was still one course to be had. There sill lied this glorious, juicy, meat ladened thing that had somehow remained uneaten.  Nay, it remained unconquered!

And… it would… be… mine!

See you Tuesday for National Coconut Cream Pie Day.

About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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2 Responses to I’m Too Manly For My Legs!

  1. terry1954 says:

    i love turkey legs, although i don’t carry around the leg like in cave days, but turkey is one of my fav meats. i try not to eat too much red meat

    • Jim Clark says:

      I agree about not too much red meat, but similar to how I practice “not too much ice cream.” Keep the frequency very low, but make the quantity very high!

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