Happy National Escargot Day! (4/24)

Did you hear about the snail who traded his shell in for a Maserati? He painted a big “S” on the roof so that whenever he sped past, people would say, “Wow!  Did you see that “S” Car Go?”

I know, I know, but the moments are rare when we get to pull out these classic clean jokes.  In fact, today was only the second time that I’ve ever told that joke.  The other time was, coincidentally, also the one other time that I had escargot.  This is not because I’m afraid to eat snail.  I don’t think that’s the case at all.  In fact, conch is one of my favorite foods, and I mean it’s my favorite in every available form!  I even eat it raw at sushi restaurants.  And it doesn’t stop there!  Clams, oysters and scallops, they’re all the same snot configuration, and yet I love every single one!

There really is something funky that rattles in my head about eating escargot, though.  Land snails are a major gross factor for me. Well, not as a critter.  Actually, I quite like observing them, with their little antennae that pop in and out!  But to eat them?  I mean, these are the things that crawl around on the plants and sidewalks, leaving their slimy little trail all along the back porch screen, and how are snails not just slugs with shells again?  Do you ever hear about people eating slugs?  Yet, for some reason we’re all hunky-dory with eating snails.

Since I was pre-committed to eating some snail today anyway, it being National Escargot Day, and all, I felt the need to do some reasearch into what kind of super special snail actually makes the cut into the land of escargot.  After all, surely it’s a special kind of frog from which people eat the legs, and so it’s got to be some kind of thick undynamic snail that we eat too.  NOPE! That premise is completely false.  In fact, the frogs people eat are adorable little green frogs and the snails people eat are no different from the ones on your tomato vines.  Of course, that doesn’t mean you should go harvesting them and boiling them.  God knows what kind of pesticides and gook they’ve eaten in your yard.

Still, it’s National Escargot Day, and there’s only one place in town I’ve ever seen the escargot.  It’s a little local place called Georigio’s where the Greek owner is always there to greet you after 6PM with a great bit, “Hello my friend!”

To sum up, after round two of escargot, I’m still not a fan, but like an Oyster Rockerfeller, what they serve at Georgio’s (and call escargot), is so much delicious cheese, garlic and spiced sauce, that a ten year old could eat a helping of it and never ask what was in there.

I’m still probably not going to order escargot the next time it’s available, but in a pinch, next time I might at least say, “Why not?”

See you Friday for National Brown Bag Day… that’s going to be a little weird.

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About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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