What a nard I was today! This National Food Day seemed so simple. I mean, come on! Rocky Road? While I was growing up, it was my dad’s favorite ice cream of all. He was able to down a single scooped cone inside of one minute-thirty.
Now, I know that the world is made up of vanilla people and chocolate people. That’s not me being racist because I’m talking about how things taste, not how things look. Ok, that’s not me being perverted or racist because… Oh, just stop it! I’m saying, every single one of us loves either chocolate or vanilla. Those of us who love the one, really only tolerate the other. My dad has always been a chocolate guy, and I’ve kind of always been a vanilla guy. My wife and daughter are chocolate people. My son is… well he’s a breast milk person, so I suppose it’s too early to tell.
Now, down to the Rocky Road and how I kind of blew today’s celebration. As I was trying to say, I took it all too lightly. Usually I’ve done some reading up on the day’s delight before I actually attempt to participate, but today I just went out to the grocery store, did an ice cream line-up, and grabbed one. No big deal, right? Edy’s, Haagen Dazz, Breyer’s, they all have a Rocky Road, but it turned out if I wanted to go with the closest to the original, I would have bought a quart of Dreyer’s (although, it’s called Edy’s on my side of the Rocky Mountains because… well, I don’t really know why that is).
The reason it’s the closest is because it was William Dreyer and Joseph Edy who invented Rocky Road ice cream in the first place. Dreyer was an ice cream guy, and Edy was a candy guy, and their knowledge combined was what made this flavor as universal as chocolate mint and orange sherbet. The flavor was named for its texture, but it was also named for its accurate description of “The Great depression,” the very thing that was going on at the time it was invented.
So,let’s get back to it. Why am I a nard? Because, there it was! Edy’s Rocky Road, right there in the middle, the original. It actually says that on the label! It’s the thing that started it all. So, what did I choose? Ben & F’n Jerry’s “Rocky Road-ish.” Well, it was a “Limited Batch” after all!
Rocky Road is, even in its most generic forms, defined as chocolate ice cream with marshmallows and nuts (either toasted almonds or walnuts).
Ben & Jerry’s is not those things. It’s vanilla ice cream. They call it “toasted marshmallow,” but they know it’s vanilla. They feel like they have “Rocky Road-ished” it because the toasted almonds are coated in chocolate, but, it’s vanilla! I’m a vanila guy and even I get that. So, I put some chocolate Magic Shell on it to get it more choclatey, but I know that it’s not truly Rocky Road. Ben & Jerry lied to me. I failed.
I take some comfort that Dreyer’s is a distributor of many of Ben & Jerry’s flavors. I stopped my research there, because I realized that if I could convince myself that Dreyer’s distributed “Rocky Road-ish,” then it must mean that they approve of it, which would lend a smidge of consolation to me that William Dreyer himself understands.
See you Sunday for National Donut Dat!