Happy Pina Colada Day! (7/10)

ImageAnd you thought those stupid collector cups from your last cruise, for which you paid $20 per drink, would just sit on that shelf way up there collecting dust till someone “accidentally bumped them.” Well, that’s exactly where they sat, but then four years later here you find yourself celebrating National Pina Colada Day and now suddenly the whole thing just seems to make a ton of sense.

A pina colada is one of those drinks, that sits on a very short list of things a new drinker is comfortable ordering because he/she has had minimal experience with it from the few virgin orders that were made on vacations and such… by parents.  Other things that are ordered on that first time out are I dunno… something good; do you have, like, a drink menu, or something; and a beer, I guess. Of all those choices, however, only one is featured in a song about a couple who totally hate each other but decide to remain together because they busted each other trying to cheat.

Use Too Much Ice!

The trick to a pina colada, or any other frozen drink, is the ice to fluid ratio. Don’t let anyone tell you to add just a cup of ice. It takes way more than a cup of ice to make a good mixed drink. See this giant cup of ice here? I added another half of those to get it right. You don’t need nearly as much if you’re working with a virgin, but… well, that’s pretty much a universal rule.

Now, anyone can grab a frozen drink mix and blend it up with some booze in it (although you still have to over ice it), but when it comes to making a pina colada from scratch-ish, you’re going to want to remember a few things:

1) the base mixture is easy: 2:2:4 – 2-ounces cream of coconut, 4-ounces of pineapple juice, 2-ounces of dark rum

2) you can add too much of everything to make it a little better, except the booze. Over-boozing is not what this drink’s about. If you want to get drunk fast, have a shot of vodka first.

3) The Ice! Don’t forget what I said about the ice!

No Dark Rum? I Can Fix That!

Lastly) If you don’t have dark or coconut rum, that’s ok! I had a lot of bartenders tell me, “You have to use Dark Meyer’s rum!!” Ok, I get that, but I already have three bottles of other rums in the house, and not one of them is a not-dark Meyer’s rum. So, considering dark rum is essentially just clear rum, only sweeter, I’m going to share with you my recommend on doctoring your clear rum just right. To four ounces of clear rum, add 2-tablespoons of Karo syrup, one tablespoon of honey, and a teaspoon of molasses. After that, good luck finding someone who doesn’t know that you’re not Cruzan with dark rum.

Last tip? If you get a brain freeze, just press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. My daughter just taught me that. She’s seven, so she should know.

See you Wednesday for National Blueberry Muffin Day!


About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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One Response to Happy Pina Colada Day! (7/10)

  1. vogueworld01 says:

    have a fun day!

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