Yesterday, I was certain of my plan of attack. I would stop off at the Dunkin Donuts on the way to work and get myself a delicious blueberry muffin and coffee for breakfast. When I woke, however, I went right into my regiment, and prepared eggs and a few sausage links, so by the time I was driving by Dunkin Donuts at 8 A.M., my long-term memory had kicked out, and it was too late. My blueberry muffin would have to wait till later.
At lunch, my wife had “an emergency” with our new baby boy.
SIDEBAR: It was not an emergency! I’m pretty sure that it was a ploy by the boy to share in his farts, pee, poop, and projectile spit-up that I’ve been missing out on these past couple of weeks while at work. I most certainly had to change my shirt before going back.
In the few minutes that were allowed at home, I grazed just a bit, so that when I got back on the road to work, my original Dunkin Donuts plan was looking pretty good. Jerry Seinfeld once declared,
“You know a muffin can be quite filling!”
Well, after eating four slices of mushrooms, a stalk of celery, two mini-carrots, and five bites of some hamburger helper leftovers (cold), I was truly ready for something to fill something, dammit!
Incidentally, do you know that Dunkin Donuts makes a reduced fat version of their blueberry muffin? Do you fall for that kind of thing? Truth be known, their “reduced fat” blueberry muffin saves you 50 calories, which equates to 10% of the total. I, of course, did not fall for it. I went all out, brother!
Truly, muffins are great for nibbling. Especially when they’re this soft, warm and fluffy. You throw that on top of the fact that blueberries have antioxidant, you’re basically talking about… Aw, who am I fooling? I would have been better off celebrating “Big Mac” day this afternoon, because at least then I would have nailed some ruffage and protein.
On a side note, here’s what I realized about Dunkin Donuts coffee: Like Coca-Cola’s complete temperate reverse, it’s delicious at its ideal temperature, but once it starts to meander anywhere outside of its optimal range, that mess has to get flushed!
See you Thursday for National Pecan Pie Day! (whhhhaaaattt???)