Happy National Pecan Pie Day! (7/12)

Yep! I said it before and I’m going to say it again right here, I am not a baker. Today’s National Pecan Pie Day made sure to not let me forget it either. I swear, I can make a great pot roast, and soups, italian chicken, lasagna, omelettes, buffalo wings, casseroles, but cooking all these things allows the preparer to monitor the progress as the dish proceeds towards done. Half way in, a person can give ‘er a taste and see how things are going.  Too bland? Add a bit of salt. Too spicy? Add a potato. Too soupy? Add flour.

Baking, though? Man, you might as well be praying your dessert together, because baking is just an act of blind faith! Baking requires you to mix this list of ingredients into a bowl, and God forbid you get one of them in the wrong order! Pour the whole thing into a muffin tin, a cookie sheet or a pie crust, and that’s it. You’re out! Now it’s just your mixture and the temperature working together. All you can do is watch the thing go nuts! If you mismeasured the badder, you’re ending up with a tray of cookie brittle. Screw up the muffin mix and you’ve got yourself an oven bottom to clean. Mess up… whatever it was that I messed up with this chocolate pecan pie? Well, you end up with this ridiculous syrup sugar thing with pecans in it.

Look, I’m very upset about this. National Pecan Pie Day was such an exciting day for me to celebrate! And I live in the South, so I could have bought a slice of regular pecan pie at The Village Inn, at Denny’s, at any one of our four BBQ places or  bakeries, but once I made a chocolate pecan pie, and I just never forgot that thing. It’s truly the most amazing dessert I’ve ever put in my mouth. It’s this amazing mixture of goodness. The pecans get kind of pralined with the butter, sugar and cocoa so that it just really freakin’ works!

The Assistant… It’s her fault!

Mine, however, did not work. I followed the recipe, but the sugar didn’t un-grain, the pie filling didn’t harden, and the pie crust kind of burnt. Don’t get me wrong, it still counts because it’s a pie with pecans in it. Plus my daughter not only helped make it, but she also absolutely loved it! Of course she loved it, it’s sugar, cocoa, butter and pecans in an oreo pie crust. I could have given the same thing to her slopped in a paint bucket and she’d make the same yummy noises.

I guess what I’m saying is, anyone who can make some suggestions on what I’m missing about baking, please feel free to comment. I can take it. National Pecan Pie Day was not my proudest moment. Don’t get me wrong, it was one of my most delicious moments of the day, just not one of the proudest.

See you Sunday for National Tapioca Pudding Day!


About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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4 Responses to Happy National Pecan Pie Day! (7/12)

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