Well, here it finally is, the day that is dedicated to the only dessert pie in existence that I truly can not stand. Yes, it’s Lemon Merengue Pie Day. Lemon Merengue Pie is such an absolutely unlikely grouping of words that just hearing it makes me shiver just a little, like the time I tried to imagine how a penguin and a turkey would mate. I mean, really! How would that even happen?
First off, lemon simply does not belong in a pie! It’s a completely conflicting statement for me because a key lime pie is one of my top three favorite pies of all time. Still, I don’t care! Citrus doesn’t belong in a dessert and key limes just don’t count! I suppose that makes me some kind of dessert equivalent of that racist dude who hates all white people except for this one guy he grew up with. “Yeah, well he’s not really white,” he says to anyone who raises an eyebrow when they’re seen together. It makes no sense, I know, and I’m sure if the key lime knew I was saying such things about its genus, it would be extremely offended, but I’m sticking to my stubborn ways, especially after today’s experience.
It’s funny because the recipes look so similar to me. The differences are small but obvious, though. Lemon merengue pie requires a little more than twice as many eggs and also pure sugar, while key lime pie sweetens with condensed milk and uses, well, much less egg. Yet, one is an absolute delight and the other is like some kind of bitter raw oyster pie. Let’s not even get started about merengue, either. I truly don’t understand the point of this stuff. Merengue is nothing more than just some eggs and sugar whipped together and slopped on top of a pie. It’s certainly not the most exciting flavor combo at all. If you scooped some ice cream on top instead, it would be nine times more heroic in my mouth, I just have to say. Yet, “the merengue” is what wins some pies the super trophy in competition. Bygones, I know.
I guess the point I want to leave here today is this: Lemon merengue pie is gross.
See you Saturday for National Vanilla Custard Day!