Lemon Merengue Pie Day (8/15)

Well, here it finally is, the day that is dedicated to the only dessert pie in existence that I truly can not stand. Yes, it’s Lemon Merengue Pie Day. Lemon Merengue Pie is such an absolutely unlikely grouping of words that just hearing it makes me shiver just a little, like the time I tried to imagine how a penguin and a turkey would mate. I mean, really! How would that even happen?

First off, lemon simply does not belong in a pie! It’s a completely conflicting statement for me because a key lime pie is one of my top three favorite pies of all time. Still, I don’t care! Citrus doesn’t belong in a dessert and key limes just don’t count! I suppose that makes me some kind of dessert equivalent of that racist dude who hates all white people except for this one guy he grew up with. “Yeah, well he’s not really white,” he says to anyone who raises an eyebrow when they’re seen together. It makes no sense, I know, and I’m sure if the key lime knew I was saying such things about its genus, it would be extremely offended, but I’m sticking to my stubborn ways, especially after today’s experience.

It’s funny because the recipes look so similar to me. The differences are small but obvious, though. Lemon merengue pie requires a little more than twice as many eggs and also pure sugar, while key lime pie sweetens with condensed milk and uses, well,  much less egg. Yet, one is an absolute delight and the other is like some kind of bitter raw oyster pie. Let’s not even get started about merengue, either. I truly don’t understand the point of this stuff. Merengue is nothing more than just some eggs and sugar whipped together and slopped on top of a pie. It’s certainly not the most exciting flavor combo at all. If you scooped some ice cream on top instead, it would be nine times more heroic in my mouth, I just have to say. Yet, “the merengue” is what wins some pies the super trophy in competition. Bygones, I know.

I guess the point I want to leave here today is this: Lemon merengue pie is gross.

See you Saturday for National Vanilla Custard Day!

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About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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2 Responses to Lemon Merengue Pie Day (8/15)

  1. rachel says:

    While I’m not a lemon meringue pie hater, I like your post; sounds like me when I go off on something I don’t get!

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