Taking a Turn at a Cherry Turnover (8/28)

How can I prove that a Pop Tart is really just a mass-produced fruit turnover? Dammit, I can’t! It seems that the only real difference is that Pop Tarts don’t agree with me. They’ve always made my tummy feel real wonky-tonky all the rest of the morning. It’s likely all the excessive artificial sugars doing that, though, and not at all due to the actual construction of the breakfast substitute.

So, since I’m not a fan of the Pop Tart, I thought it would be wise to find an alternative for National Cherry Turnover Day. Considering that the only real qualifiers that define a turnover are that it be composed of a bit of dough, and baked with some stuff inside, you’d think it would be pretty hard to mess up. Plus, taking charge of making my own would also allow me to keep the ingredients that might make me feel bad in check.

Quickly realizing that most people were making their own fruit turnovers with something they were simply describing as “pie filling,” it seemed that I would need to poke around a bit if I wanted to find an alternative to a non-powdered, jelly filled donut. And so began my six degrees of preparation. First, I found generic cherry turnover recipes like the one I just mentioned. Then, out of simple curiosity, I looked for a healthy cherry turnover recipe, but that only yielded a YouTube video of a really healthy lady in her 50’s who looked like she owned horses (You know the one!) giving a really lengthy organic sort of recipe. Since I was just looking for a less gooky cherry turnover, not one that was of the earth. I needed to dial it back a bit.

So, I searched for a healthy “from scratch” cherry pie recipe. This turned out to be a good search, because I found this recipe that was throwing around oats and brown sugar, fresh cherries, you know, all the things that made for a perfect lie to myself that I was going to eat healthy. So, with my arsenal of ideas and links, I was ready to begin. Using low-fat crescent roll dough, the fresh cherries, some quick oats, brown sugar, eggs, and a wee bit of salt. everything looked perfect! Right out of the box, though I hit a slight wall.

The Mutated One

I layered one side of the triangles of dough with the oat/egg/brown sugar mixture, and then on top of that I spooned on the cherries. Problem was that the cut up cherries had gotten really wet and oozey, and I hadn’t left a lot of room around the edges to seal up the pastry. Since the juices had soaked the edges, it was really difficult to seal the sucker up. My solve for this was to take the extra dough and create patches where it wouldn’t seal, but the thing just really looked funky.

Fortunately, I had four more cresecents (or 2-turnovers) remaining. Lesson learned, for the other two I just placed the cherries on top of the oat and sugar combination, cooked the whole lot, even the mutant, and they worked out really well! They didn’t taste healthy at all, but they also didn’t make my tummy feel at all weird, so I guess Cherry Turnover Day was a success! Ha! Take that Pop Tarts!!

See you Thursday for National Roasted Marshmellow Day!

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About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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