Happy National White Chocolate Day!

Woops! Look, today is Strawberry Cream Pie Day, but when I went to start my preliminary thoughts on the matter, I noticed that National White Chocolate Day was still sitting here in my draft folder. Well, I am sorry! That’s just sloppy. I’m really not sure why my editor wouldn’t have called me after it had slipped the first 24 hours past deadline. Weird! Oh well. Please still enjoy!

By now, this blog has made it abundantly clear that when it comes to the great debate, vanilla is what my palate chooses most times over chocolate. I don’t know why, but the more it comes up the more I get obtusely proud of it. If someone says “It’s a little too vanilla” to me, I say, “Well then add a little more milk.” It’s just the way I roll.

This vanilla preference does not at all, however, reflect my position on white vs brown chocolate. Look, I have no reason to hide from this, I’ve never liked white chocolate. I mean, vanilla still definitely wins over chocolate in my book, but I want it to be absolutely clear that I’m no dessert racist. It’s a flavor preference, not a color preference. Any time that a choice of the chocolate’s pigment is on the table for negotiation, darker is always better.

So, all that being said, today was National White Chocolate Day. I certainly thought that by now I had tried enough white chocolate to know that I didn’t think much of it. Don’t misunderstand, it’s still a sugary treat, so I never turned down a piece before, I don’t think, but white chocolate is almost always one of two choclatey options, and when given the choice, I have typically opted out of partaking in whitey.

Here’s the thing, though, with all my pompous, judgemental attitudes toward the cocao bean, it turns out that I may never have had “real” white chocolate before in the first place. Yep, turns out you should wonder this too, because there is a very specific elemental differential that diferentiates that kooky white chocolate from its fantastic brown cousin. Now, that difference is very chemical, and I invite everyone to learn all about how white chocolate incorporates cocoa butter, and brown chocolate utilizes cocoa liquor, but “the internet” is best for that. After all, I’m here just trying to eat stuff!


Of course, Hershey’s tells us, on their website, that they understand what the subtle differences of white versus milk or dark chocolate entail, but I’m truly not convinced they do, because when I’ve tasted a white chocolate Hershey’s Kiss or one of their white chocolate bars, and now when I weigh that against the experience that I received today from a $3.69 Lindt White Chocolate bar, there is absolutely no comparison. In fact, I just got up and got another square of the stuff, it’s just that good. That never would have happened with one of those “white chocolate” Hershey’s Kisses, even if a bowl full were sitting smack in front of me, like at one of those awkward home-based cocktail parties. You know, the ones where you wonder, “was that put out just for today for the party, or has that been sitting there for weeks?”

Listen, all I’m really saying is, go with the Lindt if you want to figure out white chocolate. That bar may be white, but it’s creamy in the center, it’s awesome, and I might just buy one again. There, I ssid it… Happy?

Now, see you later today for National Strawberry Cream Pie Day.


About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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