Typically, when these reruns of National <insert food here> Days happen, I’m a little grumpy about it since the whole purpose of taking on “The List” was to eat something different every day. I got grumpy at the second National Pistachio Day, mostly because I don’t love pistachio. I was a bit irritated, but much less grumpy at the second listing of National Donut Day, because, well duh! So, based on the trend, second National Indian Pudding Day should put me into a complete funk. The reason it didn’t, however, is because I royally screwed up the first National Indian Pudding Day back in February. It was a pretty dopey ride that I’d love to detail for you. Rather than painfully relive the debacle, however, I would prefer to just link it.
I suppose I get that National Indian Pudding Day is on The List and all, perhaps as some kind of campaign to reconnect with our American culture, but I’m a little surprised that the name hasn’t changed to National Native American Pudding Day by now. Of course, if I were an American Indian, I’d prefer that white people just kept on calling me Indian. It would serve as a constant reminder of what a bunch of dicks they were to my ancestors, as well as how ignorant they were, that they thought they had landed clear on the other side of the globe.
Here’s the thing about stuff like Indian Pudding. Why would you voluntarily choose to make a recipe for a sweet that originated 500 years ago, when the confection industry has come so far? Would you choose to wear a pair of shoes that were made the same way as 500 years ago? Would you invest in a house that was made in accordance to the technologies and codes of 500 years ago? See what I’m saying? Why, just a $1.09 box of Jello Instant tastes butter-and-bees better than some old antique recipe that predates “Little House on the Prairie.”
That’s not to say that National Indian Pudding Day wouldn’t be’ worth celebrating once. I don’t know about once per year. Certainly not twice per year! But maybe if you were to refrain from deodorant on a year that it fell on a weekend, if you lit the room with some candles or oil lamps, and everyone sat around together eating Indian Pudding and reading… I don’t know, the Bible? I guess that would make for a good National Indian Pudding Day.
Incidentally, I made up “Butter-to-Bees.” That’s not really an expression, it just felt natural right there.
See you Wednesday for National Guacamole Day.