Happy National Roasted Suckling Pig Day! (12/18)

Roasted Suckling PigA tradition that dates all the way back to “long ago,” the Roasted Suckling Pig is both delicious and disturbing. That is, at least, the case for most United States citizens who do not own shotguns. It seems that somewhere over the evolution of this society, we have found ourselves in an “enlightened” place where we want all the deliciousness of cooked animal meat, but would rather not be reminded of the type of animal we are eating, especially while we are eating it. We prefer the heads to be removed from our chickens, turkeys and ducks, as well as from our shrimp, and we need everything except the tail removed from a lobster before you put it on our plate. We really don’t want whatever it is that we’re about to eat to appear to be looking at us because then we feel like it’s judging us.

So, when you’re talking about putting an entire baby pig on a serving table, with its head, tail, and eyes all in tact, and then carving the meat right off its little torso, let’s just say you’re not going to see a Roasted Suckling Pig at a Hollywood premier party anytime soon.

Now, call me a monster, but the idea of roasting a little pig that was grabbed straight from its mother’s teet and slaughtered, really wasn’t the problem I had with today. The problem that I had with today was that I am the only member of my family that isn’t kosher, and it’s a Tuesday! These little piglets, although tiny, still yield quite a bit of meat, and there are only so many pork sandwiches I can eat. So what were my options? Waste a whole little guy so that I can hold true to The List?

Roasted FrankenPig

Roasted FrankenPig

Then, I began thinking about things this way. Sure the meat might be a little more tender, but really, the only difference between a pork chop and a whole roasted pig is that you don’t personally throw away the ears, tail, nose and feet when you’re done. Since most of those parts are available at any Southern grocery store, I figured that I could just piece together my own little piglet. With tooth picks, I attached all the bits and pieces onto their proper places around the chop, made a deep slit in the top center portion of the chop, and shoved in an apple wedge. I call it, FRANKENPIG!

See you Friday for National French Fried Shrimp Day (no heads!).


About Jim Clark

"If it was worth doing, then it is worth writing!" -- Jim Clark -- Someone else probably said that before, and I'm sure that each semester she starts her Creative Writing 101 class by writing it on the board, but I never took that lady's class so I am taking her quote! I work in the world of advertising, but I write for a living. Here in the second decade of the '00s, we find ourselves in a culture where virtually everyone writes for a living. With all the clicking and clacking on Facebook, Twitter, emails and texts, our lives are more than ever intertwined with writing. At the same time, it's also become increasingly more important to shorten our thoughts down to as few characters as possible. So, now, more than ever, I think it's also important to hold a place in our lives for expanding and honing our thoughts through writing. This is my place for that.
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